Long time I did not write anything substantial for my blog. Well, today I decided to make up for it. Since quite sometime I have been neutral in my writings, focusing neither on the great nor the solitary side of love. Today however, I wish to write about something that many of us might take years to realize, and some would never realize it at all – Passive aggressiveness!
Passive aggressiveness, as the name suggests, is condition when one partner shows his aggressiveness by staying passive. In other words, it can be described briefly as silence treatment. Couples in love, generally mistake signs of passive aggressiveness to be a part of the sour moments of an affair…. But it is not so! A passive aggressive partner would make you completely believe in him and then start torturing you to your core. The torture is often a confusing affair and it is your confusion that would keep you bound to him despite the torments that you have to go through. Here-under we glance at what the symptoms of passive aggressiveness could be.
- Unreasonable changes in behavior: Imagine a situation! You and your partner just had a romantic dinner and you now expect to have a lavish night together. However, when you get back home, something suddenly gets wrong and the atmosphere unhealthily changes. You keep scratching your head about what might have gone frenzy, but fail to reason out anything. When you ask your partner about what it is, all he does is say that he is not in mood or just that he does not know! I swear this condition can piss off a person to death!
- Shirking responsibilities under the cover of forgetfulness: You are leaving the town and want your man to see you off! Well, any couple would do that! But I have seen some men come late to the airport, saying that they had forgotten the actual time! Now if you link back things, there was a moment, days ago when your boyfriend had asked you not to go because he does not want you to! But he was not very strong at it so you thought, might be it was just a naughty request! Passive aggressive people do this. They would not tell on your face what they want, they would make sure through their actions that you don’t get what you want to.
- Displaying confusing behavior: These people have this very irritable habit of keeping things in heart. They would expect you to make it out! Well, how in the name of heaven is any human supposed to make out what it is that the partner thinks! Discussions are always important! Supposedly, your partner wants you to wear a casual for a part he is going to, a pair of pants and a decent shirt! You wish to look chick however! A passive aggressive personality would never clearly tell you what he wants! He would on the other hand, encourage you to follow your wish! It is after everything gets over, that you would find him behave aggressively. The aggressiveness can be in the form of silence as well as abusive behavior!
- Blame game: Another important symptom is an excessive tendency to blame the partner. Have you ever noticed that your partner starts cribbing and complaining over every petty thing? Does he try to prove you to be wrong by hook or by crook, and then makes you die out of guilt for having hurt him excessively? Are you the one who is the center of all fault even when you know in your heart of hearts that you are not? Well, then, you partner might be passive aggressive!
- Unexpressed anger: Most cases of passive aggressive personalities have tonnes of anger stored somewhere in their hearts and you will never come to know! They don’t get angry often. However, you will come to figure out their resentment in the form of self-sympathetic statements like, ‘Honey, you remember how much you had hurt me the last time? But I still love you!’ such statement would almost drown you in the ocean of guilt and you would naturally feel obliged for having such a wonderful person in your life! Think for a moment! Possibly, last time it was you who was hurt more!
Passive aggressive personality disorder can seldom be detected in the initial stages of a relationship. People displaying these characteristics are clever enough to camouflage themselves. It is only when you start feeling committed and you life starts revolving around that person, does he try to control you through is passiveness. Mostly, partners of such people do not have much to do except to leave that person! And trust me, he will make moving ahead extremely difficult through his tendency to create self-sympathy! Treatments are available as well! Choosing what to do is totally something that you have to decide!