Marriage on the sword-edge? Think about your children

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Marriage, divorce and children

I know it’s a bit odd to read about a divorce when you are looking forward to sexy tips for a great life together. Then too, I choose today to write on this topic.

Divorce and separation have become common words. You get married, stay happily for some years and then suddenly stupid differences start creeping up. And ego adds fuel to the fire. Gradually, as petty things as, ‘you don’t come early from work’ or ‘you don’t notice me as much as you did a year ago’ or simply, ‘I think I have distanced from you’ become mountains and walls, that are almost impossible to break apart. I have seen couples fighting like felines and canines on worse than petty things like ‘you have just stopped understanding me’ and then start chanting prayers for divorce.

Well, if you have still maintained to remain that solo couple without a child, a divorce becomes easy, although I need to redefine the term ‘easy’ if I am making this statement. But once you have a child, leaning on to your shoulder and clutching palms of your partner for love and support, you really really need to think whether at all you should get divorced on not!

Marriage, divorce and child

Getting divorced has a huge impact on children. I have listed some of the most hideous and the worst ways in which children suffer due to a divorce:

  • Your child is not an object to belong either to you or your partner. He or she is a person, a human being….. Children feel a back-breaking pressure of choosing between parents when an issue of divorce arises.
  • Child psychology is a very complicated subject, till date. There is no rule that presides over it. what might seem normal and just another tussle to you, might men a lot more to your child. It could influence how your child thinks of you and your partner.
  • Many children cannot bear the shock of getting separated from one parent. Custody just doesn’t get into their heads. They are bound to ask a lot of questions, like, ‘Why cant dad stay with us?’, ‘How could you do this to my mom?’, ‘does mom not love me any more?’ and the list just goes on and on!
  • A kid observes what you show him, knowingly or unknowingly. If you even lightly depict that marriage is not a very good thing to go for, or if you show remorse for having got married, or if you just say something negative about a gender as a whole, your child is definite to pick up the thread and build up an entire world of his own around it, stuffed up with prejudices.

Marriage, divorce and children

  • Most children, who have gone through a painful divorce, show signs of depression and mental instability of varying extents. Unless counselling is done carefully, these effects have been reported to be permanent in the child’s personality.
  • Under extreme cases of violence that precede a divorce, a child, depending upon his genetic pool, might also grow up to display criminal traits, or aggression against a particular sex.
  • A playful child might become exceptionally quiet, a lean slim child might gain weight all of a sudden, a soundly sleeping kid might show signs of insomnia, a calm one might jerk into a violent personality all of a sudden! There are many such symptoms that your child is not being able to cope up with the thought of his parents getting divorced!
  • Peer pressure is another thing that torments school going kids. Comments at school, stating the incompatibility of parents and fights at home might just increase a negative feeling towards parents.
  • Grown up kids tend to blame one of the parent for having caused misery to the other. A rift is created between the kid and the parent, no matter how hard you try to keep in pace.

Marriage, divorce and childrenThese were just some of the many other things that kids might go through before or during a divorce is in procedure. Sure, counselling could help, but anxieties that kids face while their parents stay busy in sorting out ego issues, is just ridiculous! I am sure no parent would want it that way, but that is what happens to kids when mom dad are supposed to stay separately.

Think twice if you are planning tot get divorced with your spouse.


5 thoughts on “Marriage on the sword-edge? Think about your children

    Ashu Chandola said:
    August 22, 2013 at 4:35 am


    Ashu Chandola said:
    August 22, 2013 at 4:47 am

    I believe both the partners have to understand that its not about their lives only, its about the kid’s future also. Whatever they are doing today is definitely going to reflect in the child’s life later when he would grow up! A child would never understand what led his or her parents to get separated…until he or she is mature enough to get into the logical reasons….but till that time, the child would keep up the hope of seeing his or her parents together. So painful it is!!

      munmungoswami56 responded:
      August 22, 2013 at 7:30 am

      I agree with you Ashu…. Till the time kids come to understand why their parents got divorced, they distance too much to even care for the reason why they got divorced.

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